Who are you really? Do you always show your true self to the whole world? Who are you when nobody is watching?
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Who are you when nobody is looking?
When you are totally alone, doors closed, with window blinds drawn, are you the same person as when you are out in public?
Are you shy in public only to get home alone to turn the music up loud and dance all over the place like a rock star?
Maybe you are a geeky introvert at work but turn into a total extrovert hitting the clubs after dark.
None of these things really change who you are inside, these things simply show that perhaps you aren’t always comfortable with letting your whole personality out in the open.
Which brings forth my second question:
Do you like the person you see in the mirror?
Not just the physical appearance of yourself when you look in the mirror, but do you really like the person looking back at you.
Take a closer look into that mirror. Don’t stare at it thinking “I hate my hair, maybe I should day it purple” or “Geez I need to wax my eyebrows”. (In my case I’d be thinking about getting tattooed eyebrows. I have NONE)
Instead, look deeper into what are you really looking at in that mirror? Do you see a strong person that has survived so many difficult obstacles in life?
Honestly, when I look in the mirror, at first glance I think, “when did I get so old?” “where did all those wrinkles come from?” Then I laugh to myself. Those wrinkles are part worry lines and part laugh lines.
My wrinkles are the road map of my life. So many wrinkles etched on my face (and body) from laughter with friends and family. Wrinkles created from smiling as I watched my children play and grow. Yes, even wrinkles across my forehead formed as worry lines because raising children do create years of worry along with all the wonderful memories.
Wrinkles of grief and sorrow have also found their way onto my face. I’ve endured the loss of loved ones throughout my life. Several that I feel were taken way too young, and those grief lines are ingrained deeply. Reminding me of how God has been with me every step of the way. How each trial has made me stronger.
I haven’t always loved the lady in the mirror
So I can say that at this stage in my life I do like who I see in the mirror. Although I haven’t always loved that lady in my mirror.
I’ve always possessed plenty of self-confidence. I don’t feel that I’ve ever been arrogant. I stay quite humble actually, I have no reason to brag. But I grabbed hold of the attitude that “I am who I am and people will like me or not” from a very early age.
I simply didn’t have the will or the want to try and change for anyone. I enjoy a life with laughter and love. Lots of both, please and thank you!
Liking myself and loving myself though are two completely different things. There was a time that I didn’t really love myself because I made a lot of bad decisions. Things I did as careless, spontaneous actions that I’m not proud of and that is just not who I am deep down.
However, God’s grace is an amazing thing! I am constantly in awe of how awesome God’s love, forgiveness, and ultimate grace truly is!
Back to my original question,
Who are you when the world isn’t looking? I love Blake Shelton’s song of a similar title, “Who Are You When I’m Not Looking”. Especially the second verse:
Do you pour a little something on the rocks?Blake Shelton
Slide down the hallway in your socks?
When you undress, do you leave a path?
Then sink to your nose in a bubble bath? My oh my, you’re so good looking
Hold yourself together like a pair of bookends
But I’ve not tasted all your cooking
Who are you when I’m not looking? I wanna know
I wanna know
I wanna know (When I’m not looking) Do you break things when you get mad?
Eat a box of chocolates ’cause you’re feelin’ bad?
Do you paint your toes ’cause you bite your nails?
Call up momma when all else fails?
Again, I ask, Who Are you?
Do you keep your true self hidden from the rest of the world? Is there a secret part of yourself that is allowed to show only when alone or with just your spouse, family and closest friends?
“You are who you are when nobody’s watching.”― Stephen Fry
Why do people act differently in private than in public? Are you ashamed of your personal little quirks? Afraid of being labeled as weird?
You are your truest self when alone. When nobody else is around to hold you accountable is when you let your true character shine. If no one is watching how will there be consequences for your choices or actions?
The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.John Wooden was a great coach and an amazing person of true character.
Embrace Who You Are
Always be yourself, no matter who you really are! There have been people in my life, that after getting to know them over a long period of time in different settings I noticed they acted differently depending on where we were and who we were around.
I think of these people as chameleons. Why do I think of them as chameleons? Well, chameleons can change their colors, but do you know why they change colors?
Many people believe chameleons change colors to disguise themselves…. Camouflage is thus only a secondary reason why most chameleons change color. So why would they want to change colors? Scientists believe that chameleons change color to reflect their moods. By doing so, they send social signals to other chameleons.https://www.wonderopolis.org/wonder/why-do-chameleons-change-their-colors
Why would people act like chameleons?
Considering the reasoning behind why chameleons change colors and my analogy of some people acting like chameleons, then why would people feel the need to change or disguise themselves in certain situations or with certain people?
Over the years, this has become quite fascinating to me. I can think of only two reasons for people to behave this way.
Let’s say someone you respect like your boss or a future mother-in-law thinks very highly of you. Now, what if you don’t think that highly of yourself. So you put forth a pretense of a sort, acting a certain way that you feel earns that degree of respect from the other person. But what if you are truly pretending, and that isn’t who you really are? What’s going to happen when you grow tired of pretending or you slip and your true self shows?
The other reason:
The second reason I can think of is similar but a little different. You meet someone you are attracted to and go out on a date with. The two of you start talking and learn things that the person likes and wants in a mate. Things they want aren’t really who you are, but ok you could learn to be that person. You quickly tell yourself it would be worth it to change and adapt cause this is a person you really want to be with. You start doing the chameleon thing to become exactly who this person wants in order to attract them to you. Again, I ask you, what’s going to happen when you grow tired of pretending? Or you slip and your true self shows?
In both of these above scenarios, you would be pretending or lying. Not only lying to the other people but lying to yourself as well.
Starting out with lies never ends well. Building any kind of relationship on top of lies does not lay a solid foundation. Always be yourself no matter what and you will always be comfortable in your own skin.
A little about who I am
Who I am is fairly simple. I’m just me all the time. Easy one-word descriptions of me would include sister, mom, grandmother, friend, Christian, and nurse.
|I only do in public:||Only in private:||Both public/private:|
|wear shoes||don’t wear bra||Read my Bible and pray|
|wear gown/pjs||dress for comfort/my own style|
|wear houseshoes||comb my hair|
|laugh loudly/laugh at myself|
|sing with radio|
|Always be myself|
Somehow I can’t seem to help myself. I’m animated for lack of a better word. Usually, I’m an open book meaning I can’t hide my emotions or even my thoughts very well.
I may as well have a “thought bubble” floating above my head at all times. If a thought enters my mind it is most likely coming out of my mouth before I can stop it.
Give me a little alcohol to drink and that filter between my thoughts and my mouth is totally gone! Fortunately, I’m a happy drunk!
Oh, who am I trying to tease? I’ve never really had a filter, drunk or not! It’s just easier to blame it on the alcohol even when I haven’t been drinking! ha-ha!
Actually I am just fun-loving! Many times I’ve been told that I’m fun to have around. Unless you embarrass easily, then you may want to reconsider where you allow me to be seen with you! Just kidding! I do know how to mind my manners. I even have been known to use my Southern Charm now and then.
In my honest opinion
So the best way to earn friendships is by earning trust. When you meet someone new if you are pretending to be someone you aren’t then you instantly are going to start off on the wrong foot.
Likewise, I instantly do not feel comfortable around pretenders. Someone pretending or not being the true form of themselves come off fake. Others can instinctively sense it and feel uneasy about trusting these types of people.
An introvert or someone being shy in contrast to a pretender is totally different. Being shy or an introvert just means the person is socially awkward. They usually don’t interact or have much to say. While a pretender actually has too much to say… about themselves.
Being who you are is the best way to attract the right people to you that will evolve into lasting relationships. You are who you are and you shouldn’t change that in order for people to like you.
They either like you or they don’t. And for this reason, I say “take me or leave me” because if someone doesn’t like how I am then why would I want them as a friend?
Because, if you think about it, if they don’t like who I am, then I probably wouldn’t like them either. Just a thought to ponder.
One last thing
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until next time,