When it hurts to live, but you refuse to give up… how do you cope? How do you move forward when life becomes too painful?
Let’s be honest with ourselves, some days life in general just sucks! Life isn’t always fair. There are many ways that life hurts, physically and emotionally.
Everyone is different and each person copes with painful situations differently. But we all need to find ways to deal with the “sucker-punches” that life sometimes gives us and continue moving forward.
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When Life Hurts
From the time we are children, we learn that sometimes life hurts. We fall off our bikes, skin our knees, or a friend moves away and it hurts. But we must learn to get back up and keep going.
When life hurts, as it often does we must deal with the pain and keep living. These painful moments are what make us stronger. Even as children, the falling down and getting back up is building character and coping skills long before we know it.
As we get older the painful moments often become much more painful than a scraped knee. Coping with the pain takes much more than cleaning the cut and putting a bandaid over it. Then what? First, let’s look at the many different ways of how life hurts.
Why Does Life Have to Hurt
I read a very interesting article on Lifehack titled Why A Life Without Pain Is The Guarantee To True Suffering. I liked this article, not for gaining knowledge I didn’t already have so much as it put things into a different perspective. I looked at that title first in curiosity, then with an “ah-ha” moment of clarity.
You should really read the article by clicking the link above. But the gist of the article is that if you’ve never felt pain or loss then how do you know peace or happiness? Physical pain is a danger signal of illness or injury, it serves a purpose. As uncomfortable as any pain can be, we do need it sometimes.
My second husband had never suffered from a headache. I have suffered from migraines since I was a teenager. He could never understand the immense suffering I endured during a migraine.
Likewise, he grew up in a large city, while I grew up in a very small farming community. I have a large inner circle of close-knit friends that I’m in daily contact with for 55 years and still counting. He could not name more than one person he went to school with and had no contact with that person since high school. He didn’t understand close personal bonds between people.
Different Ways It Hurts To Live
Life is painful in general, and sometimes it feels like it just hurts to much to live. But saying that it hurts to live is a broad statement. There are many different ways that life can become painful.
I want to break it down and look at the different ways that it often hurts to live. I don’t simply mean the difference between physical or emotional pain, but also the different ways within those two categories.
When It Physically Hurts To Live
Every morning, without fail I wake with a headache. But that’s the easy part. The very second I put my feet on the floor instant pain shoots from my feet, to my legs and radiates throughout my body.
This physical pain is caused by the arthritis that wreaks havoc on my entire body. I also suffer from narrowing in my cervical spine and bone spurs along my entire spine and knees.
Millions of people suffer from arthritis and many other physical conditions causing physical pain. I also suffer from a few others as well. Chronic pain is devastating to say the least. It never ceases, it’s always there and it becomes depressing. Making life seem unbearable at times.
Life may seem like it hurts too much to live on most days, but I refuse to give up. I practice gratitude! I focus on the good things in my life. I find pleasure in the things that are not painful. Such as my family and friends. I love watching my grandkids grow, learn and enjoy life!
When It Hurts To Live Emotionally
Emotional hurts are just as real and painful as physical hurts. They are just as difficult to cope with, and sometimes maybe even worse. A bandage, pain medicine or massage does not help with emotional pain like it can with a physical one.
There are different kinds of emotional pain, but each is one is just as painful as the other, only in different ways.
Family emotions can cause hurts. As a parent we often hurt when our children hurt or feel sad. We won’t to fix their pains and can’t always do that. It hurts us to watch as our kids grow and learn that the world isn’t always going to be fair and that some friends aren’t your real friends.
Oftentimes families have differences of opinions and we try to force our opinions onto those closest to us. This too can cause a lot of hurt feelings. Some of our saddest and most hurtful feelings can come from when we feel like those we love the most simply don’t listen to us or don’t understand us. It leaves us feeling hurt and alone.
Grief Causes Life to Hurt Emotionally
Grief causes pain. Losing a loved one to death hurts emotionally and sometimes you even feel it as a physical pain.
Honestly, I hate the old saying of “Time heals all wounds”. Time does not heal the pain of losing someone you love. Time only helps you to deal with living each day without them here with you. Time doesn’t always make it easier actually, it only gives you time to accept the new normal of your life without that person. That may sound bleak to some of you, but it’s the cold hard truth in my opinion.
Twelve years ago, my brother (my only sibling) and his wife, lost their only child to leukemia. Their beautiful daughter was diagnosed at age 20. She spent a year in the hospital, celebrated her 21st birthday there and fought against that cancer to the end. The day before her bone marrow transplant was to happen, her heart finally gave out and her amazing soul left this earth.
Our world stood still that day. I’m not saying our loss is any harder or sadder than anyone else’s. But watching my brother and his wife loose a child has been unbearable. Twelve years later and we all still grieve. It continues to hurt to live life without Lauren.
Most days it feels as if we are stuck in an old silent black and white movie. Our lives just aren’t as bright, loud or cheerful without her. Some mornings the emotional pain is so bad that it physically hurts to wake up. But because of other family members, we aren’t ready to give up on living yet.
When Life Hurts As A Community
There are times when natural disasters, mass shootings and unforeseen events devastate communities, towns or cities. People become injured or killed and some left homeless. Others remained shocked and left feeling surreal or unable to believe what is happening around them.
Hopefully these are times when communities and surrounding areas can pull together and help one another. Times to restore faith in humanity and kindness. But it’s also times of great pain and suffering.
In a few weeks it will be the seventh anniversary of when total devastation struck a small Czech community near to where I live. I’m talking about the fertilizer plant explosion of April 2013 in West, TX about 30 miles from Waco, TX. I live about 25 miles from West and I felt the explosion, it shook the windows in my house.
The small community of West has a population roughly of about 2,800. On that day back in April of 2013 when a building at the fertilizer plant caught fire it detonated the ammonium nitrate used in fertilizer…. killing 15, injuring 252, and damaging or destroying more than 500 buildings.
That loving historical community of generations hurt! They hurt grievously, physically, emotionally and even economically throughout the community and surrounding areas.
However, as communities do, they pulled together. They worked together, helped one another, grieved together and they rebuilt. Giving up was never an option! Texas Strong. Texas Proud. They are surviving. They are back, stronger than ever.
Even As A World Life Hurts
Yes, there are many worldly hurts also. Much like things that hurt us as communities, just on larger scales. People living in third world countries, famines, diseases and natural disasters. Wars and terrorists, things we see on the news causes us pain.
There are many things that are painful and unfair— racism, sexism, stereotypes, hate. Everyone needs to do their own part in these types of painful actions.
Be kind to one another. Be more accepting of other people’s feelings and opinions. Teach your children that it is ok for people to be different and still be friends with them. How boring life would be if we ALL looked, acted, and thought exactly the same way!! Learn and show compassion for everyone!
Depression Makes Life Hurt
All of the ways life can hurt that I’ve just mentioned can each cause sadness or even depression. Living with depression is not easy by any means. Depression is much worse than just being sad, and it never goes away.
If you are already suffering from depression, then you encounter any or all of the other hurtful events of daily life, you can easily sink to a very dark spot in life. Many of us can quickly feel as if we do not want to live any longer.
But we must not give up! We are not alone! There are others who need and love us! Remember to reach out, hang on if only for an hour at a time. Life is worth it, even with it’s pain.
Reach out to a friend, a family member, a therapist or even a hotline. Talk to someone, anyone, just another human being to remind you that you are NOT ALONE!
Most people that contemplate suicide do not actually want to die. They simply just want the pain to end. Check out this article about 13 Reasons Why You Should Live!
If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please reach out to National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255) or text “help me” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
Today We Are All Hurting
Today we are all hurting, some emotionally, some physically, but we’re all hurting a little more than usual. Today we are all hurting as individuals, families, friends, communities, a nation, and the world.
The coronavirus (COVID-19) has attacked us all, either physically, emotionally or simply by fear. But it is on the attack and we all are affected in one way or the other. We are suffering and we hurt.
I find comfort in the way people across our nation and throughout the world are working together to fight this virus. I feel pride in humanity again with how people are banning together rather than fighting each other at this time.
Most of all, I find peace through my faith in God. I personally could not get through this without God’s promise to protect me and provide for me in times of turmoil.
I pray that each of you that are reading this find your own peace and comfort. I pray we all come out of this as better people, less selfish, and more caring toward one another.
Stay safe, and stay healthy!
Until next time,