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Who Am I really?
Do you hate describing yourself? I do, I always feel awkward when anyone asks me to tell them about myself. I don’t want to bore anyone, but at the same time, I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging or over-selling myself either.
So first things first. I’m a middle-aged female that is a mother to 3 adult children and grandmother to 3 amazing little people. I’m also a sister to one older brother that is my hero in many ways. I’m a friend to a tribe of glorious women that I have known and cherished as my friends since childhood. I’ve tried marriage twice and after two divorces I’ve now remained mostly happy, only sometimes lonely for the past 20 years.
I was born and raised in a very small farming community in central Texas. Yep, true Texan all the way, never lived outside this Lone Star State. I only traveled outside of it a handful of times in my 58 years. I grew up on about 1000 acres of farm and ranch land. Yep, again your right, ole Texas cowgirl here, grew up riding horses from the time I could climb up on one and helping Daddy with the cows. And as you can see by now when I start talking (or typing) my stories become as long and drawn out as my slow Texas drawl. But bless your heart, darlin’ if you’ll hang on I promise I’ll get to the point.
I’m definitely not a professional writer, but I just write from my heart, and well sometimes just whatever is on my mind. I’ve always been told that I don’t have one of those filters between my brain and my mouth (in this case my fingers). You know the one I’m talking about… the filter that most normal people have that stops them from just blurting out things they probably shouldn’t say out loud? Some have even described me as the “funny drunk” without having to have alcohol, yeah, I just kind of act that way. I love hearing people laugh, rather they are laughing with me or even sometimes laughing at me, it’s all in good fun for me.
Some characteristics of mine
I’ve always been compassionate and empathetic, with a desire to help others, especially in wanting to help others to feel better. This lead to my career as a nurse. Being a nurse became a very big part of “who I am” and also helped me to become a “workaholic” as my kids became older. Although, too many work hours and not enough self-care hours lead to my health forcing me to retire early, a lot earlier than I would have ever thought or wanted to have ended my nursing career. At 47 years old, I suddenly found myself in poor health, unable to continue working in a career I loved with a passion, so then I was in chronic pain and soon I was also in the midst of depression.
I may sound like an oxymoron
At the risk of sounding like a walking contradiction, I have always been an optimist, even in the midst of depression. I look for the good in people, even the ones that have proven not to be so good. I am a Christian, I believe in God, and I strongly believe God has a plan for my life. I personally do not believe that God allows bad things to happen because God allows us to have free will, we make our own choices that can lead to bad things. I’ve made plenty of bad choices, and I remain optimistic through the storms of my life, knowing if I trust God, and stay open to where He leads me, I will find the better days.
I am perfectly imperfect! That is the best, and probably the only description needed for me! I am a forgiven sinner. I sin and make mistakes every single day. But according to my personal beliefs, my God forgives me.
My hope with this blog is that somehow hopefully through my words and my life experiences someone might find comfort, advice, help or friendship.
til next time…….