Do you live with anxiety? When you lose your self-control does it make your anxiety worse? Losing control is a major stressor for me! Let’s talk about key stressors that make you lose your shit!
First off, pardon my language! Need I remind you that yes in previous posts I have professed to be a Christian. I also stated that being a Christian does not mean that I am perfect!!
I am a forgiven sinner working daily on my walk with God. I make mistakes, and one of those mistakes is that I cuss. When certain things trigger my anger or shock, I let out a string of curse words to rival any drunken sailor. I’ve also previously stated that I can’t always control my mouth. So I apologize now for what might come out in this post!
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Even though I do suffer from some anxiety related to my depression, most of the time I do very well at not losing control. I normally remain calm, cool and collected. Until I don’t. Then I totally “lose my shit!”
Actually the mere feeling that I’m losing control of my emotions is enough to bring on a panic attack. Once the anxiety starts to creep in on me that is when I start to react. I start to panic on the inside and I let it all out, usually in the form of a string of curse words. One might think I am suffering from Tourette’s or Coprolalia at this point. But no, it’s just me “losing my shit”.
Living with Anxiety
Anxiety and worry usually come from our thoughts. Most often it’s from “what if” scenarios that we play out in our heads involving our loved ones.
Fear and anxiety can also come from losing control of a situation or being faced with something that you have no control over. When you feel out of control it can bring on an anxiety attack, causing increased feelings of lack of control. You are now in a vicious cycle, trying to calm down and gain control again.
Generalized anxiety disorder involves excessive worries about multiple ares of life. What-ifs and worries abound. Sometimes people imagine dreadful scenarios involving their loved ones: what if they get into an accident? What if they do poorly in school? What if they’re miserable? What if they get into trouble? While the various situations differ, there is a common theme. We have no control over the outcome of our what-ifs and worries.https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2015/12/anxiety-and-a-sense-of-control
“Losing-Control Anxiety” is a real thing
The fear of losing control or the need to always be in control is an actual condition referred to as “Losing-Control Anxiety“.
I don’t like to think of myself as a “control freak” because I do not try to control other people. At least it is not my intentions to control people, I just need to feel that I’m in control of my part of the situation so that I can control my reactions. I hope that makes sense to those of you who are reading this!
However, I do readily admit that I have often come across as a total “control freak” with my youngest daughter. The reason being, in my opinion, is that she also has the need to keep some form of control in her own situations, so we clash. We are so much alike even in personalities that we end up being oppositional a lot of times.
Things that make me “lose it”
Let’s talk about some of the things that make me “lose it”! These are the things that will set me off! Send me into a melt-down and even make me lose my shit!
The first one is a very mild one that doesn’t even make me curse or have an exaggerated reaction! However, it does cause some mild anxiety. It’s the Daylight Savings Time. Every Fall and Spring I start feeling anxious a couple of weeks before time to change our clocks. It irritates me to have this time-change. I honestly feel we should re-set the clocks in the Spring and then leave them that way. I will remain anxious and irritated over the time-change for a few weeks afterward each time also. This is something I apparently have no control over, so it causes me some degree of anxiety.
Yes, I have road rage! This will cause me to let out a string of curse words! I live in a rural area, mostly two-lane country roads with very little traffic. Which suits me fine and doesn’t cause much anxiety. But when I have to go into the nearby city for anything I get a bit anxious. People that slow down as they enter the interstate from an on-ramp. People that slow down to exit the interstate or stop completely when approaching on or off-ramps. People that will not follow the speed limits, especially if they ride my tail when I’m doing 5 mph over the speed limit. This will make me totally lose my shit!
Not hearing from my children
My children are grown and have their own lives and families. I do not have to talk to them every day. I do not panic and imagine worst-case scenarios if I do not hear from them each and every day. It’s nothing like that. Although, if I send them a message and after all day has passed and it still doesn’t show the little icon that they have read the message, then I start to worry.
I know my kids, they have their phones with them all the time and they check messages more than once a day. They have busy lives and may not answer right away, I am reasonable, but after 6-8 hours and they haven’t even read my message? I will start to lose it and I just might start blowing up their phone at this point. I have been known to message their spouses a time or two.
Overly large crowds, especially when my grandkids are with me tend to make me very anxious and a little claustrophobic. If I lose eye contact with one of the kids, even for a split second in a crowd it causes instant panic! I immediately call the child’s name, ask the other adults in the group where the kid is, and if I don’t regain eye contact then prepare for a major meltdown. Besides the string of curse words, including some you may have never heard before, you’d think I had gone into full Rambo mode without any guns.
Having to wait on something
Be it in a doctor’s office or the grocery line, if I feel I have been made to wait longer than a normal amount of time I will become extremely anxious. I will start to fidget, and cannot be still. My left leg will start to shake, or pat my foot. I will shift back and forth and start to sigh loudly. There have been many times in a store that the anxiety has become so overwhelming that I would abandon my cart full of items and leave the store without making the purchase.
This caused more anxiety because obviously I would eventually have to return to the store and go through the entire process of shopping, selecting items and making the purchases that I needed.
Impatience and not being able to control the situation of whatever is causing an undue delay while waiting in a doctor’s office has also caused me to need to reschedule the appointment and leave. Again causing much more anxiety of having to come back and start all over on another day. Both of these situations are very frustrating for me. But I had to remove myself from them before I totally lost my shit in a public place.
Arguments over an opinion
Why would anyone argue over someone else’s personal opinion? This is so unreasonable that it’s beyond my comprehension!! Everyone has the right to their own opinion about things!! An opinion is not a fact!! It’s merely the way one individual feels and/or sees a subject/topic. How can you argue about something that cannot be proven right or wrong? This literally drives me bonkers!! And when someone tries to tell me I’m wrong for merely stating my personal opinion about something! Talking about losing my shit!! Even if I hear a person trying to tell someone else that their opinion is wrong, I cannot sit quietly and not speak up!!! If you want to watch me “go off in left field”, just tell me my opinion is wrong! You will see this old woman act bat-shit crazy!
What to do when losing control
Obviously, when I’m losing control I curse a lot. My main goal is to try to focus on something that will help me calm down. I want to regain control as quickly as possible.
In order not to spiral down even further I need to regain control of my emotions and the situation if possible.
Taking back control
I’m basically a take control type of person. I’m a fixer and a doer. I have a take charge and take care of others type of personality.
I like my emotions and my fears all tied up in one little package without anything sticking out for others to see. If I start to feel any of my fears or uncontrolled emotions sneaking outside the perimeters of my “package” without my wanting them to show, then I “lose it”.
As long as I feel in control of how much fear or what emotion is coming forth for others to see, then I’m good with that. But it’s when I get overwhelmed with fear and anxiety that I get flooded with emotions and have a total meltdown.
Therefore, no matter how bizarre or even rude and vulgar it may sound when I let out that string of curse words it allows me to feel as if I’m controlling the emotions that are coming outward. At least until I can focus on the cursing and regain some sort of control overall.
Do you ever suffer from losing-control anxiety? What are some of your triggers or stressors?
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Until next time,