I’m just a quiet but unsettled homebody with a gypsy soul, trying to cope with social anxiety and depression. Is it really coping? Or merely struggling through one day at a time?
For the most part, I feel like a walking, talking oxymoron. A continual contradiction going on inside of myself. My heart, brain, and soul constantly in chaos.
Is it even possible to find peace and feel settled? Can I somehow calm my gypsy soul enough to be happy with my homebody lifestyle? That’s what I’m hoping to discuss within this post.
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Unsettled Heart, Soul, and Mind
Looking back I can honestly say that I have always felt unsettled, even as a child. I could never be still or stay focused. If I managed to physically be still then my mind was wandering.
My Rebel Heart
First of all, I always had a bit of a rebel in me. Might even say I was born as a rebel child. It seemed to be in my nature to go against the rules. Not every single rule. Most of the major ones I tried to conform to, but if I thought it sounded fun or that I might get away with it, then I’d definitely attempt it.
It just always seemed easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Only IF and WHEN I got caught. And if a friend would go along with whatever I was about to do, then I’d definitely go for it.
My Gypsy Soul
Second is my gypsy soul. Also as a child, I had the soul of a wanderer. My parents weren’t ones to travel. If we went on family vacations it was day trips to Six Flags or weekends to go fishing. We made it to Galveston to the beach a few times. But I daydreamed of the mountains in Wyoming and Montana. Visiting Graceland, the home of Elvis Presley and going to the Grand Ole Opry. I wanted to visit real beaches with clear waters, not just the Gulf of Mexico at Galveston, TX.
We did take a real family vacation once when I was about 11 years old. My parents, older brother and I drove all the from Texas to Artesia, NM to visit my Daddy’s brother and family. I was fascinated and in awe of all the things we saw. I was most delighted with the Carlsbad Caverns.
Later as an adult, I traveled with my children back to Carlsbad Caverns. It’s such an amazing feeling for me to be out on open roads. I love road trips. I haven’t made it to the other places I daydreamed of as a kid yet, but I have taken a road trip to Las Vegas. I loved every minute of it, my daughter would have rather flown. ha-ha
My Unsettled Mind
Last is my anxiety. During the last 15 years or so, depression and anxiety have wreaked havoc on my mind. The anxiety is causing me to feel the need to be at home in my safe quiet sanctuary.
Although, even with the anxiety and need to be safe and secure at home, my gypsy soul still feels the need to wander. So how am I coping with the inner contradiction?
A Homebody with A Gypsy Soul
You see, in my opinion, having a gypsy soul isn’t just about traveling. Not in the sense of physically traveling the world constantly and never settling down.
Some people say that if you have a gypsy soul then you are afraid of commitment, but I’m not sure that I agree with that statement.
In my opinion, to have a gypsy soul means one is always searching for something. Perhaps always searching for the next best thing, so they never feel settled or satisfied. This makes sense to me as to why I wasn’t afraid to commit and get married, twice, but neither marriage lasted. Or maybe I’m making excuses for myself. Who knows?
Obviously, my heart is always unsettled and my soul feels the need to wander. I’ve become a homebody but still have my gypsy soul. I have very deep roots and connections to home and family. I feel the need to wander at times but I am overwhelmed with anxiety if I’m too far from home for too long at a time.
A True Gypsy Soul
Defining a true gypsy soul really isn’t that difficult. There are a few basic qualities you will most definitely notice in all of them. Twenty (Unusual) Things You’ll Notice About a Gypsy Girl gives a long list of qualities. Some gypsy souls may not exhibit all of them, but assuredly most of them are there to some degree.
My Gypsy Soul Qualities
- Rely on intuition
- Emotions are usually my guidelines (after intuition)
- Free-spirited somewhere between hippie and boho
- Music runs through my veins!
- Unique- I’m like no other, probably a good thing ha-ha
- love nature and animals
- my soul is on fire- passionate about everything I do or love
- unpredictable-just when you think you’ve figured me out – guess again
- asks deep questions, always looking for answers
- I cannot control my mouth!
- collector of memories
- love unconditionally
Homebody and a Wanderer
Learning to cope with the anxiety caused by wanting to travel AND be at home has become a challenge. A daily struggle that I’m constantly dealing with these days.
However, my oldest daughter seems to be facing the same dilemma. Like mother, like daughter as the old saying goes.
Fortunately, her husband is very kind and patient with both of us and our anxieties. He also loves doting on his wife and daughter and enjoys traveling and watching them having fun.
Luckily for me, their daughter wants her Granny along for the ride and fun! So we have started taking little mini-trips and weekend getaways. A couple of times we’ve even taken my oldest grandson with us also.
Traveling with Anxiety
Traveling together seems to help calm both of our anxieties. My daughter and I both seem to get most anxious over family and worrying about each other and our immediate family members.
Therefore, when we are together it eliminates much of the worrying and cuts down on a lot of the anxiety. This way we both are satisfying our gypsy souls and need to travel. I’m enjoying quality family time, making memories and loving the extra time with my granddaughter. Even bonus time with my grandson on some occasions.
We have also learned that staying in Hilton Hotels are not that much more expensive than competitors but well worth it! The accommodations, amenities, and perks eliminate so many of our anxieties about being away from home! Of course, that’s our opinion based on our experiences, but I would not endorse Hilton or suggest you check them out if I did not firmly believe it to be true.
My granddaughter has informed us that she wants to go somewhere outside of Texas now! And that she needs her adventure buddies, Granny and Sam to go with her. I sure hope my son-in-law is ready for this! Wonder how he’d feel about a trip to the Carlsbad Caverns with all of us? ha-ha
Leave me a comment!
Tell me about your gypsy soul if you have one! Or your bucket-list of places you’d love to travel to and see! I love hearing from my readers!
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Until next time,