I’ve always just been ME. I’ve never known how to be anyone else. Of course, I can act, or do role-playing, but you still see a part of ME in those roles, I cannot ever totally erase who I really am deep inside. I have a very strong personality, which is mostly comical, goofy and playful. So much so that sometimes it is difficult to know when I’m being serious. I also enjoy sarcastic humor, so sometimes you need to get to know me to appreciate my humor. The only time in my life, that I completely change from my comical personality is when I was working as a nurse, then my total professional side took over! I was still pleasant, friendly and easy-going, but I was seriously professional and ready for the “shit to hit the fan” at any moment. Believe me, it literally did so quite often!
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I’ve always been very confident in my self and my abilities, and that served me well in my nursing career. I enjoyed being a nurse, I was very passionate about my profession and my patients. I miss being an active working nurse now. But oh, the memories I have of so many wonderful years of helping others!
One woman with many roles
So, I have “worn many hats” throughout my life, but I’m still just ME. I’ve been a daughter, sister, mother, wife, aunt, ex-wife, and friend to many, but the one thing that still has never changed through all those roles is ME. Honestly, I don’t want that to change. Have you ever thought about that? Who are you really? What makes you who you are? Did you change who you were when you became a wife or mother?
In some of my prior posts, I’ve touched on the facts that I was raised in a small community as a Southern Baptist. I was expected to be a “good girl”, but my inner wild child had other ideas, and I was an unwed teenage mother. So I was young and becoming a mom did and didn’t change me. Suddenly I had this baby girl depending on me to take care of her and to provide for her. I had to change my life plans and instead of going off to college and living the wild life I had imagined, I had to get a job. But other than that, I was still the care-free, fun-loving, mostly spontaneous young woman that I had always been while growing up. So I got a job and on weekends and Friday nights, my parents would keep my daughter so I could go out with friends. I loved dancing! And so was my life, working, partying and raising my daughter. Being a parent didn’t change who I really was, it just added another dimension.
Daughter, sister and now mom?
Since I was the first of my friends to have a baby, they all loved my daughter, and she loved them. She was always with me (except when I was going dancing) so she grew up thinking my friends were her friends too. She thought she had the biggest family ever possible! As she got older, she didn’t understand why she had more “Aunts” than everyone else! lol It really took a village to raise this child! And to this day, she is 38 now and still thinks she’s supposed to be invited to my class reunions and girls’ nights, but ironically all my friends think she is supposed to be invited too!
More Roles keep adding on,
Then one night while out dancing I met the man that turned out to be my soulmate if you don’t believe in love at first sight, I’m here to tell you that it can happen. The minute I stepped into his arms to dance, I felt like I’d just come home from the longest journey ever. A month later we were married. Again, as I became his wife, I didn’t feel like it changed ME and looking back, maybe this is where it should have changed me. We did end up divorced and I remarried, but that ended up being my one biggest regret in life (which will be a blog post all its own) and that mistake/regret lead to me finding myself again 30 years later.
Are you still you under all those “hats”?
So what I’m trying to say with this post is this; you can be many different roles in your life to many different people and each role may change you in little ways, but don’t lose yourself completely! You have to keep your basic personality, let your hair down and just be YOU at times or you’ll wake up one day and realize that you honestly miss yourself and who you once were.
Until next time,